Survey for Women RESULTS

Friday, February 24, 2012

The other day I posted this survey for women. The feedback was honestly amazing. I was so happy with the amount of responses I got and I gained more from this survey than I had expected. 

What made me decide to give this survey?
Kevin and I talk about woman issues alot [mostly because I struggle alot with woman issues like being insecure, body image, etc] so that is what inspired me to do the the survey and get other women's anonymous responses to alot of common questions/struggles that women have. 

Let get started with the each question and then below I will post my answer and thoughts.
(click on any of the below pie charts to view them larger)
My biggest struggle with being a Mom would be learning to be more patient, dealing with split-homes, and feeling like I'm not doing enough as far as playing, crafts, learning activities, etc. 
I definitely feel pressure from society to be this perfect woman/mother. I am constantly feeling insecure with my looks and body since having my kids. I don't spend much time on my looks by doing my hair/make-up, wearing nice clothes, or working hard to have a nicer body. I feel like I try to hide behind my sweat pants and hoodies. When I saw the big response of 'weight' on this question I was not surprised at all. I think it's sad that women can't feel more secure with the way we are and feel accepted by one another. We women all want to feel secure with ourselves and not be judged, yet we constantly look at other women and judge. I'm guilty of this as well. 
I don't have any tactics or tips. I'm fully in the big green area of this pie of women that don't know how to deal with my insecurities. I have been really struggling with my lack of self-esteem and insecurities for about 2 years and it's a constant battle for me. It honestly made me sad that the percentage of women in this range was the highest. I wish that we didn't struggle with ourselves and could stop being our own worst enemy. One of my favorite responses on this question was "When I stopped judging other women, and I feel less judged". I think that it something to think about, it is for me anyway. I think if I stopped looking at other women and seeing everything in them that I don't have, I would have less negative feelings towards myself. I need to give myself credit for the things I do well.
One of the responses to this question matched mine to a 'T'. I think I feel like I do alot more because I make it that way for myself. Kevin often asks me if I need help with anything and I always tell him 'no' and just take everything on myself. If I unloaded some things on my 'To Do' list to him, I know I would feel less stressed and he would feel like he's helping more. I will say, I was very surprised to see such a high response of women that felt like things were equal in their household. Don't get me wrong, I think that's really awesome that the majority of responses went to that, but I think when you hear women talking at work or in groups or whatever, if one of the girls in complaining about her man then they all are. I feel like I see that alot and so I was surprised to know that women actually felt like they were getting what they needed from their men. Way to go, guys!
No surprises here. And I pretty much already covered this. We're women and we worry about our weight. I think it sucks and I wish that we concentrated more on other things besides our weight. As sad as it is, we really do judge each other on our weight. We want to stop being judged on our weight, yet we judge other for being overweight. OMG...what are we doing to ourselves, ladies?!
I loved this two question above because I like hearing what other women love about themselves. Plus, we spend so much time being negative towards ourselves, I think it's important to take time to think about what you like about yourself. For me...I like my smile and my eyes for my appearance. And I like how caring I am of others' feelings and love helping others for my personality. 
I have always wished that I could go back to school or get a college degree and I always feel so alone with this feeling. It made me feel good to know that other women felt the same way. If I could go back, I also probably wouldn't have had boyfriends in high school and would have concentrated more on my school work and extra activities and stuff. 
I blog and watch tv in my free time. And I love every minute of it. I think I need to make more time to spend time with friends and have a night out with them. This is something I never do, but I know I should.
This is tough one for me, because I am very happy in my relationship with Kevin and I always feel loved by him. But if I had to pick something I would probably have to say to "date me" again. We are so comfortable with one another and we're content sitting around on the couch in our sweats and being lazy. But I think it would be nice for us to have a date night and spend that quality time together. 
For me, this answer kind of ties in with the previous question. I think if we went on 'dates' it would add this kind of exciting and flirty feeling to our evening and would lead to more affection and stuff. I have to admit, I know that alot of the responses talked about how he always wants to but the women never do, but that's not the case for me. Everything is very equal for us in this department except that we're on completely opposite schedules and seek intimacy at different times. I think we're just going to have to start putting on the calendar; it's going to happen on THIS day at THIS time, no if's, and's, or but's! haha. Seriously though, one of the responses I liked was "Sex is like watching a chick flick: Women want to watch it from start to finish taking in all of the emotions that come with it and the men just want to watch the sex scene/dirty part". And that may not be true for all men, but what I think that quote is saying is that unlike men, women don't normally just get in the mood at the mention of sex and it's a much longer and emotional process for us. Alot of the time, we say 'no' because we haven't had anything happen to make us want to. My favorite response to this question was "I can't wait to read other women's responses because my husband thinks he's the only man on the planet that is not getting it". 
* * * * * 
I really want to thank everyone that participated in this survey. The responses on the pie charts are the answers that I received and shortened them, but in the emails I got back the answers were paragraphs in length! You ladies really opened up when taking this survey and confided in me with your thoughts, and trusted me to keep them private, and that means alot! 

The responses really made me realize that I wasn't alone is alot of things I was feeling, made me realize how silly/minor some of my issues are, and what I can do to change things that make me unhappy. Thank you all for taking the time to do this and for your honestly!  

I think I'm going to do a follow up survey and ask similar questions to men! Should be interesting!!

love
xoxo

2 comments:

  1. I was SO excited to see that the 'results were in'! Why can't life be easier? Thanks so much for doing this Nikki. It's nice to see that even though sometimes we feel all alone, we're really all in the same 'boat'.

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  2. Nicole, this is wonderful info!! Please link this to my linky party later tonight. I think lots of women out there need to see we all struggle and feel insecure. And I think men in a whole feel the same way, but don't have the resources to talk about them. Women are more open and even though this was an annonomous survey, really feel women in a group setting can open up easier than a man when it comes to insecurities concerning life and self.

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